Looking back on my way forward...
















Recently I came to a friendship crossroads.

A friendship of more then 20 years (with a fellow military vet) began deteriorating.

It dawned on me that this long term relationship had been pretty one sided and had traces of toxicity.

Strong words to describe a once warm and enduring friendship.

My Viejita always taught us that choosing our friends was very important because we would be judged by the friends we kept.

That if we sincerely wanted to have good friends we needed to raise our standards.

The sad realization came up recently that this friendship was no longer a viable one.

That I needed to demand more of myself.

I had already asked myself how much value I placed on the friendship and would I be willing to lose it and more importantly at what cost.

Being a realist and more logical than emotional, I proceeded to write down all the things I could no longer tolerate about this friendship.

I listed everthing I would accept and the things I would not.

Especially focusing on the list of things I would no longer tolerate.

If the outcome was one where the negaives outweighed the positives, I would have to have the talk. 

Unfortunately the decision was in front of me.

I saw that my friend had long ago made the decision for me.

We met over breakfast and discussed the past - my friend could not believe what he was hearing.

No apology expected and none was given.

We shook hands and parted ways.

I remember one of Helen Keller's quote, “Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.”

On this trip I'll have to walk in the light.

Another wise piece of advice my Viejita once gave me and I had forgotten, "We all teach people how to treat us."

Make it a great dia.

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